


The Hole In My Heart

by lilymae92



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 05:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilymae92/pseuds/lilymae92





	The Hole In My Heart

The bunker was silent, Sam finally tucked in bed after a long night of coughing fits. Dean watched over him, sitting in a chair beside his brother’s bedside. He didn’t believe a word the man said. ‘I’m fine.’ ‘It doesn’t really hurt that bad.’ ‘I can handle this.’ All were just words. Words he couldn’t pull himself to trust, no matter how many times his brother said them.

Cas was gone. Benny was gone. Kevin was gone.

It seemed like no matter what he did, there was always something that went wrong. Someone getting in the way of him and his family being happy. That’s what they were to him… family. Each in their different respects, but all in the same. He swallowed hard at the thought, a rush of phantom pain flooding to his right arm.

He had beheaded his best friend. The one friend that changed his opinion of monsters… of beings. The one that opened his eyes, and forced him to see that not all atrocities were created equal. Sure, the vampire hadn’t been perfect, but he tried… and to Dean, that was what mattered.

Jaw clenching tight, he could feel the soft tears burning lines down his cheeks, emotions spilling out unchecked. He was so lost in his own pit of sorrow, that he hadn’t noticed the light ruffle of feathers, or the soft creaking of the door. In fact, he didn’t realize there was another being in the room with him and his brother until he heard a gruff voice speak gently.

“Dean…”

Lips trembling as they parted, Dean turned to stare up at the angel, words unable to form from the tip of his tongue. The only thing, it seemed, that he could whisper, was the angel’s name.

“Cas…”

Nodding once, Castiel moved to Sam’s bedside, looking to the man before pressing two fingers to his temple. Now he would have a dreamless sleep. Peaceful rest for a few more hours. Now… he would not wake if him and Dean conversed.

Watching on in slight confusion, Dean didn’t even bother to wipe away the tears, knowing that would make him look wimpier than he already did. It wasn’t until he saw his brother’s countenance soften that he realized the angel’s faithful trick. He swallowed hard, trying to speak again with a shaky voice.

“Where… where the hell were you, Cas?”

“I had to hide the angel tablet, Dean…” looking back to the man and taking a seat on the edge of the bed, facing the other, “you of all people should understand how important that is.”

Dean simply tensed up and shook his head, “Sam went to hell, Cas. He went to hell, and purgatory, and…” He couldn’t believe he was tearing up again, his heart beginning to implode, “I lost my best friend… He… Benny…” The name was like a foreign word to him now, completely untranslatable, “He gave up his life so he could guide Sam back. I…” He began to choke on his tears, hands moving to cover his face as he slumped forward in his chair, elbows resting on his knees as his body shook from the sobs.

Castiel’s face softened, a hand slowly reaching out to brush Dean’s shoulder, “Dean…” Somehow, he felt that wasn’t enough. Even as an angel, he could tell the man needed more. He shifted off of the bed, propped up on one knee, his hand sliding down Dean’s back, “Dean…” Even that didn’t seem like it fit the bill. Now on both knees, Cas kneeled before him, sliding both of his hands to replace the ones Dean had covering his eyes. They moved to wipe away Dean’s tears, his voice even softer as he muttered, “Dean.”

The man in question started to calm, the angel’s gaze comforting him in ways he didn’t know were possible. After everything that had happened… everything that was going on… He studied the sharp blue eyes that were piercing his own, face leaning against his touch. This was what he was missing… what he had been longing for.

Cas leaned his forehead against Dean’s, taking in a breath as he murmured, “You’ve got me.”


End file.
